Shake the Dust

Shake the Dust
by Anis Mojgani

This one right here,
This is for the fat girls.
This is for the little brothers.
This is for the school-yard wimps, for the childhood bullies who tormented them.
This is for the former prom queen, this is for the milk-crate ball players.
This is for the nighttime cereal eaters and for the retired, elderly Wal-Mart store front door greeters. Shake the dust.
This is for the benches and the people sitting upon them,
for the bus drivers driving a million broken hymns,
for the men who have to hold down three jobs simply to hold up their children,
for the nighttime schoolers and for the midnight bike riders trying to fly. Shake the dust.
This is for the two-year-olds who cannot be understood because they speak half-English and half-god. Shake the dust.
For the boys with the beautiful, beautiful sisters. Shake the dust.
For the girls with those brothers who are going crazy.
For those gym class wall flowers and the twelve-year-olds afraid of taking public showers,
for the kid who's always late to class because he forgets the combination to his lockers,
for the girl who loves somebody else. Shake the dust.
This is for the hard men, who want to love but know that it won't come.
For the ones the amendments do not stand up for, for the ones who are forgotten.
For the ones who are told to speak only when you are spoken to and then are never spoken to. Speak every time you stand so you do not forget yourself.
Do not let one moment go by that doesn't remind you that your heart beats 100,000 times a day and that there are enough gallons of blood to make every one of you oceans.
Do not settle for letting these waves settle and for the dust to collect in your veins.
This is for the celibate pedophile who keeps on struggling,
for the poetry teachers and for the people who go on vacations alone.
For the sweat that drips off of Mick Jaggers' singing lips and for the shaking skirt on Tina Turner's shaking hips, for the heavens and for the hells through which Tina has lived.
This is for the tired and for the dreamers and for those families who'll never be like the Cleavers with perfectly made dinners and sons like Wally and the Beaver.
This is for the biggots,
this is for the sexists,
this is for the killers.
This is for the big house, jail-sentenced cats becoming redeemers and for the springtime that somehow seems to always up after every single winter.
This? This is for you. This is for you.
Make sure that by the time fisherman returns you are gone.
Because just like the days, I burn at both ends and every time I write, every time I open my eyes I am cutting out parts of myself just to give them to you.
So shake the dust and take me with you when you do for none of this has ever been for me.
All that pushes and pulls, pushes and pulls and pushes for you.
So grab this world by its clothespins and shake it out again and again and jump on top and take it for a spin and when you hop off shake it again for this is yours.
Make my words worth something, make this more than just another poem that I write, more than just another night that sits heavy above us all.
Walk into it, breathe it in, let is crash through the halls of your arms like the millions of years of millions of poets coursing like blood pumping and pushing making you live, shaking the dust.
So when the world knocks at your front door, clutch the knob tightly and open on up, run forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDtHdloK44

This summer

I bought my tickets today. So much in just a click. Oh dear Barbara.

Snow Day

This week we had snow. And I mean snow. Arkansas is not used to this kind of weather and they've been getting it a lot this year. We had a two hour delay on Monday and then they shut school down in the middle of classes around 1.30. I think the idea behind shutting everything down was so that people would go inside and be safe. Well, the teachers probably went home to avoid the ice and snow on the roads. All of us students on the other hand bundled up and went outside. There were more people than I have ever seen on the front lawn. Apparently someone started the idea of a snowball fight at 4.30 and it was all on from there; you know those ideas that get passed from person to person in mass texts? Well this was one of them. Pretty much everyone knew in the hour that school was canceled. People built massive forts and there were Braveheart moments where I'd say at least thirty people would charge the others at one end of the lawn. I deemed the word of the day to be Epic.

School was closed completely on Tuesday which was fun. We bummed around, did homework and such. We went to Chili Tuesday at the Honors College - pay $2 for chili and drinks and such, they have it every Tuesday and didn't cancel it despite the snow. Jen had stayed the night here (she practically lives here, for example, this past week I think she's probably stayed 6 of the 7 nights in our apt instead of hers). Emily was in Guatemala this week with the Nursing Department so she missed out on the snow which was sad. But anyway, that was our snow adventure.

Jen, Marcos, and I played around and took pictures
in the snow. We did our best to avoid the
snowball throw-ers, but we did get hit by a few

Peace by Piece conference this weekend.

It's funny that in this time of immense change I feel more solid than I think I ever have. The temptations that I used to have don't even phase me. I even put triggers in my head and they don't do anything, at least haven't for quite a while. Slightly off topic, but just ran through my head.

I cried myself to sleep last night. I don't know who I am or what I am anymore. In The Awakening Edna says that she would give her life for her children, but she would not give up her 'essential' for anything or one. I used to be able to say the same - I would give my life for Christ, but also that he was what made up my essential, and that I would not sacrifice nor compromise that for anyone nor anything. Now I have nothing that seems a solid or essential part of me. I believe there is a beauty in doubt, yes, but I have never been quite to this place before. There are things that I have had questions about before but have always just accepted the pat answers that fundamentalists have always had near at hand. Peter Rollins says something about doubt that strikes me - that I'm still not sure about - that I still don't understand - but I know it means something to me. 'If you doubt, the moment you feel utterly forsaken is the moment you look like Christ crucified on the cross. Doubt is a central part of the faith.' < That is loosely quoted, it was quickly copied down during a conference this weekend. Did Jesus truly doubt God on the cross? He doubted himself - but have you known a man who has never doubted himself? In my Life of Christ class (I think I took that sophomore year) we discussed whether Jesus was born knowing he was God or if he didn't come into that knowledge until he was baptized and the clouds spoke 'This is my son' 'You are my son' depending on where you look. For those of you who may read this and worry, don't. This doesn't come from unbelief but rather belief. More to come - hopefully soon.