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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Conquering

Seven days from right now I will be a college graduate. Whoa. Don't know what I think about that. Everyone around me seems to think that that is some sort of big deal and I suppose to an extent I do as well, but not that much. To me I guess it was just something that would happen. Another page another chapter sort of thing. But it's almost over. I think that I have filled it with plenty of adventures. Some heartaches. Lots of learning, lots of growth, immeasurable change. What do we expect of the heroine when she comes to the end of the chapter? Should she step forward bravely? Have won the battle? I'm not sure. I do know that I have gained plenty of things that I will never forget and I'm not sure if those are the classes that I paid for. And will still be paying for for several years to come. I am surrounded by friends who love me more than I know and whom I love more than they can know. Right now they are in front of me but after next week we will be spread throughout this country and several others. I will not forget them, what we have shared, what they have taught me, or all the things we will continue to share. I'm not that sad about leaving. Perhaps it's because I've already done it once and I know it can be done, that though others will take pieces of me with them, and pieces will be left here, I will still be whole. That's something that I've struggled with, something that I didn't believe in. That when you share pieces of yourself with others, open your heart to them, they take it from you and you lose it. But that's not true. You can share things with others, give them pieces of your heart, the whole thing, and you yourself can still remain whole. Not even just whole, but sometimes even grow larger, fuller.