You and I

There's just something about music. I can't really describe it, never have been able to, but there's just something about it that gets me. I think anyone would agree that I have a sick amount of music. And I love finding new artists, and am constantly doing so. We had a chapter about pain last week in my foundations class which I found interesting/amusing. One thing it talked about was distractions. Some people use tv, friends, books, music, etc. I remember one night, when I was going through the whole initial health thing, my parents took me to the Riley hospital ER in the middle of the night. I was in so much pain and they didn't know what to do. That's where I kind of started the whole neurologist thing I think. Anyway. So we're sitting in the ER for forever and finally went back to a room. I think it was like 3am by the time we saw anyone. I remember the whole time I was reading Eragon which had just recently came out. When the doc came in the room and talked to us, my parents gave him the whole lowdown and everything. He looked at me and said well she can't be in that much pain if she's sitting there reading. I have a hunch that my mom wanted to punch him. (For anyone considering going into health care, or quite frankly, anyone considering communicating with anyone at all, pain is what the patient/person says it is. The fifth vital sign. You have no place to tell a person that they are not in pain when they say that they are. Trust someone who has been in that position many times, it can be one of the most frustrating, disheartening things to be told something like that.) Instead, she just looked at him and said, I think it's her escape. It's someplace that she can go to just get away from it all. Now I don't remember much from that time in my life, but this memory stands out and probably always will. It was the first time that I actually thought that my mom got me, knew who I was. To bring us back around to the original topic, I think music is like that for me too. There is hardly a moment in my day when I am not listening to some sort of music. I am right now. My sister makes fun of me because in the mornings I carry around my ipod playing music through its speakers. There's just something about the way it can make you feel. There's the words, the rhythm, the notes, everything. But the best is when you combine it all, combine it to make something beautiful. And how it affects your mood. If I'm driving and listening to slower, calmer songs, I drive that way. If the song changes to a heavy, faster beat, I speed up without realizing it. To me that's just incredible. I'm not sure what brought about this writing, but I was listening to music a little earlier this evening, and a song came on that brought this huge smile to my face. No idea why, no explainable reason for the sudden mood change (not that I was in a bad mood before, just not a goofy grinning from ear to ear mood). But there it is. It happens. So thank you music makers, for this gift. And thanks to all of you who contribute to the soundtrack of my life. (Cheesy, I know. Cut me some slack, I'm feeling sentimental :)

Here's to you

Pick your jaws up off the floor friends. This is really happening. Another post. Whoa. Took even me by surprise. :) But really, I'm up late and kind of at peace and just thought I would drop a line. So hi!

One thing that I started doing after I wrecked my car was noting little things that I had taken for granted about it. Just the fact that it was such a nice car was one, though I didn't take that one entirely for granted; I was aware of how lucky I was and said things like I felt like a spoiled brat when I was driving it. But things like how big the rear window was - it was awesome to be able to see that much in the rear view mirror. Also the ability to raise and lower the seat. Trust me, when you're as short as I am, you appreciate things like that. There are plenty of other things I could say, but you get the idea. Well I got to thinking because of that - I hope I don't take for granted other things in my life and not notice how special they are until they're gone. So I've been trying to pay closer attention to things. And sometimes things just come out of nowhere to say hey, I'm here, appreciate me. My friends fall into that category. Now, I'm not saying any of them would demand appreciation, but they certainly deserve it and prove that to me time and time again. I have one friend who I haven't talked to in over a month, but that doesn't stop her from calling me a couple of times a week trying to get a hold of me. Another will listen to me at any hour of the day with advice for my ridiculous at the ready. Others allow themselves to be picked back up after my dropping them for so very long, without any grudges to be heard of. Again, I could go on and on, but I won't. I have to stop and shake my head as I write these and think of my friends in turn. What have I done to deserve such amazing people in my life? I honestly don't know. But I cannot express how much I love them and am thankful for them. I just hope that they somehow know.

Short one from a short one

It's been forever. And I have wanted to - needed to - write. So much has happened. I'm worn out. Going into week 5 of school. I'm pooped. And grasping for some sort of motivation, failing at that. I wrecked my car, bad. The insurance totaled it but my dad bought it back for cheap with intents to fix it. I don't know. What else? I don't know. Found some stuff that makes me happy (while procrastinating of course). I miss my friends desperately. Ha - I had big plans for all that I was going to write, but I really think that this is it. Here's something that makes me smile.