365 days.....and counting

Today marks a wonderful accomplishment in my life. I am so very proud of myself. And so so very thankful for those of you who have helped me get to this point. That really includes all of you who may read this - most of you probably just don't know it. But I hope you know that I couldn't have got here without you. I'm also realizing that because I'm so goofy/weird sometimes, this may read as sarcasm. It's not. Today is HUGE.

Today I had clinical, which went really well. I felt kind of stupid at times because I had to keep asking everybody questions - this was technically only my second clinical on the floor, and the first one was a solid five weeks ago. Oof. But it went well, I don't usually get to embarrassed about looking dumb. My patient was young and really interactive - which was awesome. It's kind of a bummer when you get a patient that either can't talk or won't. Oh man, Morgan, one of the girls in my class, had a horrid patient today - cursed her up and down, told her to get out of her room, said that she could wipe her own, ahem, "arse." I think I would've cried. But Morgan's tough and just said all the things she wanted to say to her patient to us later. Which was pretty amusing. But anyway, my patient - it was good. And her husband was in there with her most of the time and he was cracking me up.

After clinical I came home and collapsed for awhile - I swear 6 hours of clinical feels like 15. But then I caught my second wind and decided to go out exploring to kind of celebrate the day. I knew that there were a couple of state parks around here, so I went in their direction. I was really just going to ask the cost and hours and such at the gate and then decide what to do - but there was no gate. I guess that Illinois doesn't charge an entrance fee for their state parks. How cool is that? So I drove through Kickapoo (that cool of a name makes it awesome, the added perk of being free just pushes it over the whooaaaa awesome edge) and got out for a bit. It was really good to just be outside and in the woods - I'm not made for this whole "city" living thing. There were like 50 million deer, no joke, I lost count after about 30. I took some pics, total tourist I know. But I was having a blast. After I left Kickapoo, I headed towards the other one that's only a few minutes away - Kennekuk, it's a county park. But by the time I left and got there it was five, and they had a gate up that said it closed at 4:30. So that's for next time. I headed back towards the Danville-ish direction, took a random road that I knew was the right-ish direction. Yeah, that's right, I knew which direction was right. The sun was setting...and I knew I was west from my apartment...and that the sun set in the west...so I headed the other way. Yeah buddy! Anyway, it was weird on the drive, I kept being reminded of all these places I'd been. I have what I call "picture memories", like flashes of places I've been, like a photograph, randomly. Well they were going off like crazy the whole time: the drive in CO with Jonas, driving through the Grand Canyon park with my CO (round 1) summer roadtrip friends, roadtripping to TN to see Laren and go to Kristina and Caleb's wedding with JC, times at HUT, an AR trip where we decided to take the 'scenic route', driving to West Baden with my grandma, and on and on. Made me a bit reminiscent, but really thankful for the things I've been able to do. It was still weird though, because none of them look the same, just a little similar I guess, and some of them I haven't thought about in forever, feel like I nearly forgot about some. Here's some pictures from today:

 Yeah, I took a picture while I was driving. Oops. But the sun was gorgeous and I couldn't resist.

This was the first big group of deer I saw. I really wasn't expecting it, ergo much of the excitement. (I mean really, it's not like I hadn't seen a deer before.)

Even so, I had to get out and get a picture :)

There was water all through the park - lots of ponds, and a river too. There were signs and stuff for canoe rentals and fishing stuff...I can't wait for the weather to get warm.

  The river.

I just thought this was really pretty. There was a whole section along the road that was like this - it made me think of Sugarloaf.

Again, driving, my bad. But for real, imagine this times about ten, all across the skyline: it was like freaking Hitchcock's The Birds!! 

So that was more or less my day. It was a keeper, for sure. Now the realization that I really haven't done much homework is catching up to me though...but it's not really putting a damper on my mood. I'm happy :)

Oh, and I felt the need to include these. They're lyrics to a song I really like: The Art Of Falling by Greg Holden. (I also direct you to the video. Very symbolic and neat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tWzkC563Rs)


Lost, confused, unseen and used
Dangerously fighting for nothing to lose
My progress is calling, it's noticed I'm falling
It's time for a change, It's time for a move,
And I know that it's frightening but it's also exciting
I'm taking a risk that I know is worth fighting
Its better
To make your mistakes than to live with out knowing
Its better to fall on your face then to stay on your feet
As long long long as you tried your best
Sometimes its hard to think my time here is ending
It troubles me to think about who I've offended
But I can't live my life
In the interest of those,
Holding me back when I'm stood on my toes
But too many times I've been risking my life
Making decisions whilst trying to be nice its
Better to make your mistakes than to live without knowing its
Better to fall on your face than to stay on your feet
As long long long, as long long long
As long long long ohh
It's better to mistakes than to live with out knowing
Its better to fall on your face then to stay on your feet
It's better to mistakes than to live with out knowing
Its better to fall on your face then to stay on your feet
As long long long....

And today was a day just like any other...

You know those days when you just wake up and you think "Today? Today's going to be a good one." Well today was one of those for me. I really don't have a good reason, no certain thing that happened to explain it. In all honesty, I should've woken up scared out of my pants because of the patho/pharm 2 test I had today. But I didn't (they were still securely on when I woke up :) Maybe it's the fact that I'm feeling significantly better after two days of being sick, or maybe because the weather is gorgeous after weeks of snow and ickyness, or maybe it's because I've come to some conclusions and am refocusing my life accordingly, or maybe it was because the pesticide guy came to my apartment today and we had awesome conversation, or maybe it was because my patho/pharm teacher told me that I can skip class March 3rd, or maybe it's just because today was Thursday. Dunno. The point is, today was a good day. And I'm thankful for that, and ready to face tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I'm ready :)

See You Soon

Dear Barbara. There are some days when I long for numbness again. Forewarning, tonight (this morning) may end up being more others' words than my own. I'm having a hard time expressing myself, so I'm drawing help from some of my constant companions. Aka, musicians.

"Cause ever since I tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It's been fine
I've been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been"

I tip my hat to you, postmodernity. Okay okay, so that's just a bit silly, but that's inevitably what I think of when I hear that song. (Thanks to Christ in Culture with Adair) But really, I don't want the numbness. Feeling is just hard sometimes.

Today was Valentine's Day. Every time I hear that, I think of the phrase "Single's Awareness Day," thank you Harding. I've never really had strong feelings towards or against the holiday. I love being goofy and giving out little kid valentines, or making some sort of treat thing and giving them out (neither of which I did this year). But I hate the consumerism of the day, the thought that you have to buy something big or extravagant, or spend exorbitant amounts of money on someone or else you clearly don't love them. (I will insert this here though: I am a girl, and if I were in a relationship I would hope for something out of the norm for the holiday. Just thought I'd cover my bases, because I know I may be called out on that.) And let's face it, I don't like all those silly couples being all giddy and in love :) But I was talking to a friend of mine earlier tonight and she said that she believes that today isn't just for those couples in love to celebrate, but for everyone who loves anyone. I have to say that I agree with her. The latter half of my day was pretty horrendous, but at the same time, it was pretty amazing. I got pretty upset (that may be a bit of an understatement) about something that happened and all of the subsequent things that it made me face. I was here alone and I knew it wasn't a good place for me to be, so I started texting/calling people to talk. Over the course of the evening I spent a good four hours on the phone with people who are so very dear to me. I can't say how much those conversations mean to me, from the silly and absurd to the serious things that are hard for me to hear and to talk about. Clearly I don't hold to the lyrics above, I don't think talk is truly cheap, but I had to include them as they have been stuck in my head all evening. So. This is a thank you to all of my friends. You all mean so much to me and I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for all you've done, whether you've been in my life for 22 years or 2. Happy Valentine's Day. Know that you are loved.

Even including all the catharsis tonight, I'm still in a bit of rough shape. I'm confused as to how to make things right, to do things right, or if there is a way to do either. Good grief. Here is where the desire for numbness comes in. I've been trying even harder at my ever-present goal of being open this past year. It's been difficult, but I think I can fairly say that I have made great strides. I am trying to give people a chance, to trust, to plunge in without testing the waters. I had forgotten how much it takes to do that, how much it's like a domino effect. It's like there's this huge glass container filled with all sorts of things. Some of them are dirty, disgusting things, maybe covered with sand or dirt or grime, completely buried in it. But there are several others that are gorgeous, unique, unlike anything else out there. You want to share just a small thing, a little jewel of you, but to do that you have to somehow open up the glass. So you work and chip away, trying to just get to that one spot. But there's all those dirty things around too. So you take your time, work carefully, try your absolute hardest to make sure it's safe and that only the good stuff comes out. Then, one day, you break through, you share it, and it's fabulous. You want to show off another thing, so you go back to work. But there's some of that dirt in front of this one, surrounding it. It's harder for you to get it to the surface, harder for you to be okay with taking it out. But you do. And, hesitantly, you share that dirt covered thing. Amazingly, in the sharing, it becomes less grime covered, less of an eyesore, less of a shame. You realize that this isn't what you thought, that maybe the container isn't meant to be sealed shut, maybe it's that clear glass for a reason. So you go back to work, you find others to share with, and most of the reactions are similar, a cleaning of the dirt, a small polish to the previously hideous object. There are those times when the things are rejected, become less attractive, and you can't stop yourself from pushing them back in the container, patching up the holes. But not all of them are patched, and you make more and more holes as you find others to share with, and before you even realize it, the container looks wobbly, unsteady, ready to give out. Now here is where you face your biggest struggle. You're aware enough of it to stop, pull back, and stare up at that huge thing, filled with your darkest secrets, your most beautiful joys. Do you let it break open? Or do you make a steady retreat, some quick, furious patchwork? People are still pressing on every side, asking for more, wanting to see this, wanting to have that, pointing to different things, different places, asking asking asking - and you have to make a choice. You know that if you keep up the sharing, sometime soon the dam will burst and that box will collapse down around you. Everything will spill out, not just what you choose, and you'll have no control over it. You'll be covered in that dirt, wearing it for anyone to see. Will the people around you be willing to see you with that dirt? Willing to pick up you, clean you off, polish you to see the gleam of the positives that you know are there too?

This, friends, is where I find myself. Sorry for the weirdness, I'm in a descriptive mood and longing to write. Thanks for putting up with it, for being you. I love you all.

(The title is a song by Coldplay. Fantastic and factors in so so well with all of this^ right now. If you listen to it [please do], imagine it sung from the perspective of "Love", like as a personification.)

Good gravy kids. It's 3am. I'm going to bed.

Blurb.

Okay, this is just a short attempted explanation. Apparently my "permissions" thing on here isn't really working or at least it's been doing weird things. So some of you may have been taken off and put back on or something weird (one person's said their "invitation had expired"). I don't know, maybe I messed it up somehow. Regardless of the how, I'm trying to fix it. So for those of you seeing this blog for the first time, welcome, I apologize for the craziness. It's me, what do you expect? Anyway, that's pretty much it. I hope you all are well.

Oh, and just a little note from my life - I love my friends. They are absolutely fantastic.

Love is really nothing but a dream that keeps waking me. For all of my trying we still end up dying; how can it be?

Today's been a really reminiscent-y day. Not really a bad thing, just been looking back a lot. Sometimes these days are really hard on me. This one's so-so, but I've distracted myself anytime I've started to delve too deep. But still.

I haven't accomplished much school-wise today, but I do feel as though I'm getting more on track with the whole motivated/getting things done stuff. I'm a beast at getting stuff done if I feel the pressure. Yesterday I cranked out half of a care plan in one morning that I'd been putting off for almost three weeks. It's ridiculous when I think of it, of how long I could've had it done and how much less stress I would have had. But I think I am inherently a procrastinator and always will be; I was actually talking to one of my friends about that the other day.

Like I said, I have spent a fair amount of today looking back over my past. I have come up with some lessons that I have learned, from things that I have gone through and/or always seem to happen.

- People will always come in and out of my life. I'll not always deal with their leaving well, but I will have plenty of opportunity to practice.

- Just because people are geographically far away doesn't mean that they have to be far from me.

- Whenever I eat something with peanut butter, I will inevitably get it on my clothes. Every stinkin' time.

- Mistakes will happen, but how their repercussions affect my life depends entirely upon myself.

- Loving is hard. But it is worth it.

- I'll always have questions, but they won't always have answers. And that's okay - though it may not seem it at the time. Sometimes the point is simply in the asking.

- Food eaten with chopsticks is always more awesome than food eaten with a fork. Or a spoon. A spork is competition though.

- I'll never be who I was yesterday. But that's not a bad thing. And both sides of that lesson will always be hard to learn.

- Music, no matter how silly, cliche, or meaningful, will always hold a huge part of my life.

- I have an aversion to the idea of sleep. This isn't really a lesson, nor is it something that is really beneficial to my life, but it is something that has been a part of me since I was a small child (serious, that's verbatim from the rents). So I thought I'd include it. Especially since it's a large part of why I'm writing this now.

Okay so that's it for now. I'm obviously in a weird mood, but it's a good one. No worries. Heading home tomorrow morning to go with Stacie and Mom to pick up the wedding dress. Eek! Still freaks me out, but I'm really happy for her. Alrighty, I suppose I'll attempt this whole sleep idea. No promises.

Also, guessing game on the title. Anyone?

Night Train

It's days like this that I wonder what in the hell I'm getting myself into. Let me explain. I just got out of my clinical for 301, which is basically Med/Surg. Normally I'm not too fond of these clinicals, they're okay, it's just that we don't do much - vitals, baths, assessments, pass meds, etc. The basics. And they're all pretty much older clients, mostly pneumonias or stuff. And a fair amount of them are dementia or confusion patients. Anyway, all of that to say that I don't really enjoy them usually, which I know sounds awful. But we rotate around to see other departments. Last week I was supposed to be in the OR, but because of the snow, I missed it. Well today I was in the ER.

I'm not even sure where to begin. All of this is probably going to make me sound really naive or just I don't know, young? Over reactive? And it's silly, but the person I would most like to talk to about all of this I can't talk to. And then thinking about all of that just gets me going again. Sorry.

Okay. I got to the hospital ~0645, went to the floor for pre-conference, yada yada. Everyone else got their patients and such and then my instructor took me down to the ER. I asked her on the way what all I could do - like if I was more observing or participating - she said anything that I've learned, I could do, same as if she was with me. Then she dropped me at the ER, without much instruction or anything, without really assigning me to a nurse. But I stuck mostly with the one who she had talked to for a minute. Not even five minutes later we get this patient by ambulance that has a trach stoma - he had a tracheostomy and used to have a trach in. Trach stoma = hole in his neck. Anyway, he had an arterial bleed and it was bleeding into his trachea....which had a stoma....which meant it was gushing out of his throat. He's rolled into the room and is automatically surrounded by several people - like 5 nurses, the doctor, the medic, someone from respiratory, myself (though I was standing back, trying to stay out of the way). I thought they were moving so slowly, inside I was saying come on, do something! But it's silly for me to think like that, they were moving as fast as possible, had to get pprwk and anesthesiology and such in. I wish I could describe the picture to you adequately. Every time he drew a breath, it sounded like he was drowning. He was gurgling his own blood.

Good grief, there's no way I can write this all. There's just so much, so much that happened today, so much that I'm feeling. I'll just do my best to recap it I guess.

So they have him there, they intubate him, start suctioning the blood, blood goes spraying across the room - I was at least six feet aaway and I had to jump out of the way, finally "finish" what they're doing, and the whole time they had him bagged. They had to use a ambu-bag on the end of the tube they had just stuck in his stoma to make him breathe. That means that someone had to stand there and squeeze it every about five seconds to make his lungs expand, or else they wouldn't have. Mike was doing it for a while (from respiratory, worked with him on the floor before too) but then another patient came into the next room and needed tubed too (he's important, come back to him later) which respiratory has to do, so Mike had to go over there. A nurse took over, but then there was too much junk to do, everything was happening at once, so I found myself with the bag in my hands, breathing for this man who is laying before me, covered in his own blood. Oh, didn't say this, he was about 5'11" and weighed about 115 lbs. That's just a little more than me, but almost a foot taller. Skin and bones. Literally, it was hard enough to look at without even considering all of the other stuff. I don't know how long I was doing that, then the flight team showed up - they were flying him to Carle. They got him all moved onto their stuff and hooked up and bundled up, but the nurses weren't sure that the ventilator they had would work well on him because his tube was sticking up like a foot - not really an exaggeration - in the air. So I found myself putting on one of the flight nurse's jackets while she bagged, then taking back over bagging, and walking with all of them down the halls, out the door, across the parking lot to the helicopter, all the while breathing for this poor man. They got him in the chopper and I ran back inside, back to the ER. None of the nurses think he'll make it.

After that things got more routine, I followed my nurse around; she was doing triage which means she saw each person as they came in, did vitals, and decided their level of priority. It amazed me what some of the people came in for. I went from the previous situation to a man with a toothache. Sharon (my nurse) said that he's a frequent flier though - he comes in all the time, pretty much just drug seeking. There are a lot of those. But there were some legit ones. I'm not going to list off all the patients I saw today, don't even think I could count them if I tried. But one more that's huge.

I went with a different nurse a few times to see some things: IVs being put in, foleys, etc. Well we went to put a foley catheter in a man who was in the priority room - where the patients are severe enough to need cardiac monitoring. He was the one who got tubed earlier this morning, said we'd come back to him. He was a nursing home patient, had the whole gamut of things wrong with him already. Well now he was on a respirator (that's why they tubed him) and watching him "breathe" honest terrified me. His whole body heaved, and not in a regular pattern, but in a jerky, twitchy, really labored way. He had wrist restraints on - protocol if they're on a resp. We tried to get a cath in him, even tried a pediatric one, but couldn't get it. I had ahold of him, had talked to his brother and wife earlier that morning when we were in the room to give him meds, stayed in the room and talked to him - though he couldn't respond - while the nurse had gone to get a different size cath, etc. Shortly after the failed cath attempt, ICU came to get him because he was being admitted. It was later on, while we were in the middle of working with other patients that the charge nurse - who can't be out of her twenties, she just looks so young, but I guess she's married and has two kids - got a phone call about him. They were transferring him up to ICU and when they got him up there, he was dead. Dead. Sharon said well he'd been trying to do that all morning, they just wouldn't let him - I think she could tell I was a bit shook up. I just didn't know how to react. I mean, I've had several people in my life die, several people whom I love and was close to, but this was just....different. I had just seen him, just tried to care for him. Maybe that's why. But I shocked.

The day, however, continued. Maybe that's what shocked me, no one really reacted. I mean, that doesn't make them bad people, they very obviously care, but maybe they've just become so used to stuff like that. It is an emergency room. The charge nurse left to make a call on her cell phone and when she came back she seemed like she had been crying a bit. But other than that, there wasn't really any change. Patients kept coming in, the nurses kept caring for them, life just kept moving. That's how my day ended, it was close to the end of my clinical when all this happened. I spent the last like twenty minutes helping try to get an IV in a very dehydrated two year old. Poor thing, she was cute as could be, but absolutely miserable. Didn't help that three different places of trying IVs on her just ended in three blown out veins.

I missed post-conference because I was too caught up and not watching the time - left at 1300 instead of 1230. So I drove straight home and wasn't quite to my door when the tears started. It doesn't help that I'm tired and my sinuses hate me, but still. I didn't really realize how much today took out of me. Makes me hate living by myself on days like this - I kind of want to be alone, but I kind of want someone with me. Doesn't make sense, I know. But all this has made me think way too much. Made me think about my support system, and how much I need and want someone to be able to just spill to on days like this. I am terribly thankful for my friends. I'm also terribly sad about the people who aren't in my life anymore, for various reasons. My coping mechanisms: forced myself to eat some soup, listening to some city and colour, amos lee, and brett dennen, and now I'm going to try to rest for a bit.

(Title is a song by Amos Lee, check it out)

A few updates, a few dreams, a few insights

There are days when my body just decides to hate me for no logical reason. Today - the latter half - has been one of those days.

The past week has been weird. Good I suppose, but just weird. Sunday was a sleep late and come back to Danville day. Got nothing accomplished. Oh, but I did get sick again. I can't really figure that one out, it's the second Sunday in a row that I've gone to bed and had to get right back up to run to a trash can. I think it may honestly be nerves that I don't consciously realize/acknowledge. It's weird though, I've never been a puker. But it's making me think of my panics, times when I've completely freaked out and didn't have a really legit reason. I digress. Monday was an exam and then clinical. Mid-clinical the weather went nuts, resulting in school being cancelled Tuesday. And Wednesday. Oh and let's not forget about Thursday. It was really nice to not have the two exams that were scheduled for Tuesday, clinical on Wednesday, or the quiz on Thursday. And to have my care plan pushed back another week. Not so nice though is the fact that all of that is now added onto next week and I've lost all motivation and studying skills. Meh, you win some you lose some.

As a result of not having really any social interactions the past few days, I came home mid-Thursday. I had an appointment in Indy today so I was planning on coming home this weekend anyway, but now it's turned into a more long term stay. I was gone most all today but tomorrow I've left open so that I will have to force myself to study. Well I'll at least try.

The doctor's appointment today went really well. It was just a post-surgery follow up type of thing. X-ray should that my bone is completely fused back together already, which is ahead of schedule. I liked that - I mean it's not like I was doing anything to help it, but it's nice that as screwed up as my body is, it can excel at fixing itself. I'm weird.

A good friend of mine who was only in my life for a short amount of time gave me a good diagnosis once. We were talking of traveling and such and I told him about how I get stir crazy if I don't go somewhere fairly often. I need a change of scenery, different surroundings. He told me that I have "restless leg syndrome." Now I realize that this is an actual thing that people actually suffer from, and it's not something that I actually do have in the true sense of the disease, but for some reason I love the application to my desire for travel. My feet itch, my legs can't stay still if I do the same thing over and over in the same place. I'm reaching that point. Last semester nursing school was new and exciting, living at home was different because it was the first time I'd actually unpacked anything while here since the summer of 2006. Really. Last fall I lived out of totes and stuff that had stayed here. And the one summer I was at home was the same thing. Anyway, my "restless leg syndrome" is flaring up. I'm itching to be out of here, to break out of my cycle of school, study, eat, sleep, home on the weekends. And I know myself well enough to know it's just going to get worse until I go completely nuts. I've slept on a couch for the past three nights. Don't ask, it's just something I do when I'm like this. Maybe just a short day trip to someplace random will do the trick. Shoot dang I wish it was warm enough to camp. I'm seriously contemplating a trip to Arkansas next week. For realz.

I was on one of my friends' blogs a couple days ago and ran across a piece of awesomeness. She lives in Tennessee and her and another friend took a roadtrip to see the world's biggest tree house. No joke. This thing is one of the neatest things I've ever seen. Some of you may recall our dreams to live in Baobab trees (which I still thing would be incredibly awesome). Well this is what mine would look like. I now know that I can settle for no less if I were to ever build a tree house. Okay okay, so it would be seriously downsized. I mean I'm small, I can justify that right? I also don't have like twenty years to invest in it. So. Here's the link, you should really look at it. Watch the drool though. One thing though, I don't really care for his story of why he built it, kind of hokey, but the results make the reasoning less significant.
http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/ministers-house-the-worlds-biggest-treehouse.html

While I was admiring those pictures (and seriously procrastinating on homework) I found a few things. One is a bunch of really stinking awesome pieces of architecture that if I'm really ambitious would love to put on my bucket list to see all of them one day. A link to that: http://damncoolpics.blogspot.com/2011/02/85-strange-and-stunning-buildings.html  I will say though, I have already been to four of them. That's a start right? You get to guess which four :)

Man I'm really encouraging the time wasting today aren't I? There's one more though. I also found where I would absolutely love to work. Seriously, if there was a way that I could do this I would. Well maybe just for a few months. But it's supah cool. Link! http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/inventionland-coolest-workplace-in-the-whole-wide-world.html There's an actual website, but that one has a lot of good pictures. Their actual website says they do tours though...so that may have to be added to my New England roadtrip plans.

I feel the need to mention ice. No ice ice babies included. Everything in this area is just completely coated in ice. It is absolutely gorgeous but has led to some not so pleasant things. For me: a really sore bum. Fall number one was taking my trash out at my apartment. Numbers two, three, four, five.....well then I stopped counting....happened at my parent's when I was being a fool taking pictures. I had a blast though, no sarcasm included. For my mom: a trip to the ER and some seriously swollen lips and nose. And here in a few days what's sure to be some seriously black eyes. Then there's tons of other people who have had actual bad injuries. Again, you win some you lose some. I'll put up some of the pictures I took next time; I haven't put them on my computer yet and I'm not real sure where my camera is currently.

Alright, there's more, but it's 1:30 here and I'm pooped. I hope you all are well. Your new artist for the day (I think I've decided to try to introduce a new band on here with each entry) is going to have to be Alexi Murdoch. I love him. Don't know that I could give you a specific song of his, but most all of them are beautiful. There's one for you - Something Beautiful. Also, Wait and Orange Sky are two of my favorites.