I let myself fall

Okay so there is, as always, much that I want to write about. However, I am currently lying in bed and really need to actually go to sleep. However, a few things before I do sleep. Happy new year! Welcome to a clean slate, 365 days of potential. It's up to you to make sure that they're not days of lost or unused potential. Anyone make any resolutions? I tend to not make them, mostly because I know that I probably won't follow them through. There are a few loose ones bouncing around in my head though. This is my last week of non-schoolness. Aka: my last week of freedom and laziness. I move sometime this week/weekend. I'm pretty darned excited, partly because it's my first "real" apartment, partly because I'm ready to be out on my ownish again, partly for the elimination of the commute, etc. I'm also a bit sad/apprehensive because I won't be around my family as much, won't get to see them everyday. I haven't had that for the past four years really but now that I have I think it'll be hard to leave it again. Also because I'll be leaving my friends again which is always sad. But I will only be an hour away and such. I think it's a good time to be leaving though. Tonight's the first night to sleep by myself in the past few days. Don't freak out, JQ's been here the past couple of days and the other night a group of us stayed at a friend's house. I miss having a roommate, having someone to talk to and such. But it's fine, it was just nice to have that for a bit again. I hate this feeling though, back to being just me after having company. I took JQ to the airport today which was bittersweet. It made me think of driving her to Denver this summer to fly out. It was the end of the two of us being roommates essentially. It was rough. I got a slight brush of those feelings today. Yuck. I hate closing chapters, inevitable change, etc. I don't open up to people easily because of that, because I feel as though it'll just come down to a goodbye. Silly, I know. But I'm working on those walls, always have to be. Having JQ here made me realize that I've let some of them creep back up. I don't like that. I have a hard time taking them down by myself though and apparently I haven't been paying enough attention. This is just one big run on ramble; I'm sorry for that. But just some of the thoughts going through my head right now. Night friends. I hope you all had a great Christmas and new year!